This was in my Suddenly Senior newsletter today, and it is so true that I had to share~
Please go to Judy Gruen's site to read the rest. It is so true, yet so funny, that I nearly fell out of my chair laughing~

I know. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen one other. Things were certainly strained between us when you finally left for leaner pastures.
But I am not too proud to admit that I (and several articles of clothing in my closet) still miss you, sometimes desperately.
Perhaps I should have seen the early warning signs when you were slipping away from me, one belt loop at a time. With every extra bite of brownie or serving of mashed potatoes, I must have been pushing you away from me. But must we be like so many other modern relationships, transient and shallow? Can we not begin again?

JUDY GRUEN is the syndicated columnist of “Off My Noodle” and a member of NSNC. Judy’s main occupation is lobbying the federal government to create a Division of Cellulite Studies at the Department of Health and Human Services. In her spare time, she writes books, humor columns, and complaint letters. She is the author of three award-winning humor books, including "The Women's Daily Irony Supplement," ForeWord Magazine's Book of the Year for humor. Read more of her work on www.judygruen.com.